


Loki Laufeyson : A User’s Maintenance Guide

by FreakinMi



Series: Marvel User Guides [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011), Thor The Dark World
Genre: Crack, Gen, How to treat your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™, User guide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-29
Updated: 2014-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-13 03:44:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/499099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreakinMi/pseuds/FreakinMi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thank you for purchasing the exclusive Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit of the ‘Liferuining Avengers 2012’ series from Marvel.<br/>Please take the time to read and follow the instructions in this manual to ensure optimum functionality and to get the best out of your product.</p><p>New release: The Dark World upgrade!</p><p>A parody user guide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is another of my user manuals that I've written over time. The style is completely stolen from another story, which had stolen it from one in turn. But no matter, it's all just a bit of fun! Sadly not beta'd and English is not my native tongue, forgive the typos and errors! Enjoy the manual!

**Loki Laufeyson : A User’s Maintenance Guide**

 

Thank you for purchasing the exclusive Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit of the ‘Liferuining Avengers 2012’ series from Marvel. Your order will arrive 3-4 weeks after payment has been made.

 

Please take the time to read and follow the instructions in this manual to ensure optimum functionality and to get the best out of your product.

 

**BASIC INFORMATION:**

Name: Loki Laufeyson (but also answers to God of Lies, God of Mischief & Madness, Liesmith, Silvertongue, Loki Odinson and Reindeer Games. Depending on his mode setting he may or may not respond to Loki Odinson favorably.)

 

Origin: Jotunheim

Height: 6'4" (without horns)

Weight: 525 lbs

Eyes: Green / Red depending on mode

Hair: Black

 

**YOUR Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ SHOULD COME WITH:**

\- Tailored black suit incl. jacket and scarf

\- Casual but dashing Asgardian prince outfit in green and gold

\- Asgardian battle armor in green and gold incl. horned helmet

\- Native Frost Giant outfit

\- Throwing knives

\- A magical staff or spear

\- Muzzle and handcuffs

\- Schemes involving either complicated mischief, patricide, fratricide, genocide, world domination or a combination of those

 

**HOW TO INSTALL YOUR Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ UNIT:**

After unpacking and checking that all accessories are as they should be, quickly hide the Frost Giant outfit along with the muzzle and handcuffs in a safe place. Your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will arrive in its ‘More-or-less-innocent-mischief’ mode, and will - when he wakes up and sees any of those items - question you thoroughly, followed by promptly freaking out when he is reminded of horrible family issues, most likely resulting in him reverting into ‘Angsty-with-identity-crisis’ mode.

 

Once unpacked and the items are hidden, put him in his room (he will demand to have his own chambers anyways) where he will safely awake. There is no further need for calibration or installation as your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit automatically registers the place he wakes up as his home. He also comes with the All-tongue and therefore understands and speaks all languages.

 

 

**MODES:**

_More-or-less-innocent-mischief:_ He will conjure up plans to make you and others look like fools, but it will all be just a bit of fun and games to show you that he cares for you, guaranteeing plenty of laughs (for him at least). At times these pranks will even be for the greater good. Beware when he offers advice by whispering in your ear, as this is often an indicator for upcoming mischief. While he will make plenty of jokes on your behalf, when it truly matters you can count on him to be at your side. We recommend you keep your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ in this mode at all times, as this mode is by far the safest and most easy to deal with.

 

 _Angsty-with-identity-crisis:_ In this mode your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will be very emotionally fragile and prone to do unpredictable things, like crying, yelling and make plans to kill his family. While in this mode, he will shift between brooding by himself and coming to you asking for you to ‘tell him’ and explain ‘why’. When talking with him pay attention and _never fall asleep._ Keep telling him that you love him and he is not a monster, he is Loki. Hugging is allowed, but stop immediately if he freezes or seems uncomfortable. While this mode offers a good opportunity to deeply bond with your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit, it can be very tricky to deal with. We do not recommend this mode unless you know what you are doing.

 

 _A-bag-of-cats_ : This is your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit most powerful mode, as he will be utterly sexy and confident in everything he does. He will however constantly refer to you as an ant and proceed to command you to kneel. You’ll be best served with complying with his demands, and he will regard you as a loyal, useful servant. He will be obsessed with some big crazy scheme, gathering followers (that you will be asked to house and provide for) and manipulating everyone he can until he gets what he wants. This mode is recommended only for short periods of time or distracting enemies - such as teachers, parents, bosses, etc., through complicated, eloquent and articulate speeches.

 

 _Frost-Giant-blues_ : Contrary to the mode name, your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit will not necessarily be feeling down while in this mode. He will however, be blue with red eyes. Be aware that his touch can be extremely cold and harmful. He will also be prone to creating things of ice. This is the only mode where your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit will wear the Native Frost Giant outfit. He will not be very sociable, at times he will even refuse to let you see him and prefer to stay in his room.

 

 _Nothing-but-the-helmet:_ This mode only comes with the Deluxe Edition Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit (Only available for ages 18 and up). It is very close to the ‘ _More-or-less-innocent-mischief_ ’ mode except your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will forego putting on any clothes except his helmet. Recommended for private, indoor use only.  

 

**COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER LIFERUINING AVENGERS 2012 SERIES UNITS:**

Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™: Interaction with this unit will differ greatly depending on your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ current mode. In general Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will tolerate this unit and talk with it peacefully, will even acknowledge a family bond. Your unit will find the Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ unit to be a good target for many of his pranks. However it is advised to constantly keep these two under watch as your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will range from feeling almost incestuously attached and somewhat loyal to downright hateful and trying to kill the other unit. Warning: Do not encourage your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit to spend too much time with the Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™, as your unit may develop an obsession with being better and stronger than it.

 

Dat Ass Hawkeye Clint Barton™: Your unit will have nothing personally against this unit, and might even try to make friends with it, though it is more likely he will completely ignore it until he sees use for it. Do not however, let your unit manipulate this unit, as it will carry a grudge and might try to fire arrows after it. But do not worry; your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is perfectly capable of defending himself, but you may suffer other property damage.

 

Deadly-Sexy Black Widow Natasha Romanoff™: While your unit will at first frown and look down upon this unit, it offers your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ a welcomed challenge of wits and intelligence, as they are both highly skilled in manipulating. While they may appear to be hateful, it is possible for your unit to form a friendship based on mutual respect with the Deadly-Sexy Black Widow Natasha Romanoff™.

 

Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist Iron Man Tony Stark™: Your unit may somewhat come to like this genius unit and may even strike an intelligent conversation with it over a strong drink. As with the Deadly-Sexy Black Widow Natasha Romanoff™ it is very possible for these two units to form a friendship. Do take note however, that this unit is completely unable to control itself and may start talking about issues that will offend your unit. Make sure these two only meet each other at ground level in all buildings. Do not let the Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist Iron Man Tony Stark™ meet your unit while in ‘Nothing-but-the-helmet’ mode.

 

Oozing Masculinity Captain America Steve Rogers™: Your unit will not care for this unit at all and will ignore him at all costs. The Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will simply find it boring and too orderly. Eventually your unit may come to hate the Oozing Masculinity Captain America Steve Rogers™ unit mainly because he is simply too ‘good’.

 

Angry Green Giant Hulk Dr. Bruce Banner™: Your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will have a complicated relationship with this unit, depending upon the mode of the Angry Green Giant Hulk Dr. Bruce Banner™. For the safety of your unit, it is better to keep it entirely way from this unit at all times. However, if you find your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ stuck in ‘A-bag-of-cats’ mode, the Angry Green Giant Hulk Dr. Bruce Banner™ may be able to fix it. Be ready with a first aid kit.

 

Boy Band Assembling @£¤% Nick Fury™: Your unit will toy with this unit as he sees fit, which the Boy Band Assembling @£¤% Nick Fury™ unit does not take kindly to, and as a result they will never be able to be more than enemies. If this unit sees the opportunity, it will lock up your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ in a cage.

 

True Hero Agent Phil Coulson™: Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will completely ignore this unit as long as it stays out of his way.

 

Overmaster Mad Titan Thanos™: Do not let your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ get in touch with this unit as it will cause it to go into ‘A-bag-of-cats’ mode with no hope of changing without outside interference. This unit may also cause severe damage to your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ both mentally and physically.

 

**MAINTENANCE:**

The Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit is perfectly capable of cleaning and keeping himself neat, he does not require assistance and he will cast terrible spells on you if you try to join him in his baths. He will however not object to a prepared bath with candles and a collection of books. Please make sure that he is not set to ‘Noting-but-the-helmet’ mode while showering, as it renders him unable to take off his helmet and thus unable to wash his hair.

 

Your unit will flat out refuse to cook for himself, it cannot be expected of a prince to do so, and he will require that you do it. Despite his body shape, the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ eats a lot, so be prepared to spend a lot of time cooking. The only exception to this rule is if you for some reason bring him on a hunting trip, where he will gladly conjure a fire and roast whatever he’s managed to slay without you having to do anything. 

 

Do not ever attempt to clean his clothes. Your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is a being of magic and he has his own ways of keeping his clothes fresh and clean.

 

Part of keeping your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ happy is to provide him with mental stimulus constantly. TV and movies are not enough. Bring him lots of books and let him meet up with units like Deadly-Sexy Black Widow Natasha Romanoff™ and Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist Iron Man Tony Stark™. Learn to play games like Chess or Risk as your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will find beating you more fun if you actually know the rules and strategies.

 

Your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will be more likely to open up to you if you delight in his mischief, compliment his wits and praise him for his magic. While he might pretend your opinion does not matter, he is very fond of getting acknowledged and with luck may eventually come to crave your opinion and approval. 

 

**THINGS NOT TO DO WITH YOUR Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ UNIT:**

Do not attempt to lie to your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ he will see through it.

 

The Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is, as a God and sorcerer, immune to terrestrial diseases, and resistant to conventional injury including burning and freezing, but don’t try to test his limits.  

 

Do not ever mention his true heritage to him. While your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is aware of his Jotun origins at time of delivery it does not mean he likes to talk about it.  

 

Do not ask him if anything in Norse Mythology is true. Especially that thing with the horse.

 

Don’t ever swoon over the Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ unit while your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is present, it will greatly impact his opinion of you. Negatively.

 

While you may challenge his intellect, do not ever mock, belittle or otherwise insult him. Do not refer to his magic as ‘tricks’ or ‘cowardice’.

 

Do not try to take his staff from him. Or any of his property in fact. He will take revenge and make your life miserable. Alarm clock never working, cold water in the shower, red sock in your whites, he’ll do it.

 

Do not attempt to have sexual relations with your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™. He will fight you off and probably hurt you. While he is more powerful than you, should you still manage to overthrow him, he will automatically alarm the nearest Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ unit to come to his rescue. The Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is not intended for anything but a platonic relationship, and as such will at most allow a hug or even a rare cuddle.

 

**FAQ & TROUBLESHOOTING:**

Q: My Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ keeps poking me in the chest with his magical staff, looking utterly bewildered, then he gets really angry. How do I stop it?

A: Your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is in ‘A-bag-of-cats’ mode and is trying to turn you into a mind slave. For the safety for you and everyone else we’ve put a limiter on his staff making harmful spells such as mind control impossible. Do not inform him of this as he will attempt to remove the limiter. Instead pretend to be under his control until you can manage to change him back into ‘More-or-less-innocent-mischief’ mode. 

 

Q: There’s a Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ stalking around my home. It does not belong to me and my Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ refuses to go out as long as he is there, how do I make him go away?

A: This is a common problem as the Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ is naturally attracted to the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ no matter its mode. You can distract the unit by bringing in a unit with ‘Jane’ in its name or a combination of ‘Sif’, ‘Volstagg’, ‘Hogun’ and ‘Fendral’ units.

 

Q: There’s an elderly man walking around my home, tinkering with all my electronics at my Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ command, why is this happening?

A: That will be the Easily-Manipulated-but-Very-Smart-Eric-Solveig. Despite the limiter on your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit’s staff, he is still capable of mind controlling certain units. Most likely this unit will only upgrade your equipment, but if it starts looking like they are planning something evil you will need to contact a Boy Band Assembling @£¤% Nick Fury™ or True Hero Agent Phil Coulson™ unit.

 

Q: My Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ refuses to speak to me and locks himself up in his room, is this normal?

A: Quite. Either he is offended by something you did or he simply wishes for some alone time. If this persists for more than three days in a row you can assume he is upset with you. Go buy him some new books and cook up his favorite meal, run a hot soothing bath and beg his forgiveness. Kneel while you do so.

 

Q: I think my Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is in ‘A-bag-of-cats’ mode and is planning something really bad. What should I do?

A: Bring in a Deadly-Sexy Black Widow Natasha Romanoff™ unit, she will discover his true intentions. If he intends something like genocide or world domination she will automatically alarm the necessary units to take him down. While we have included a failsafe in your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit that makes it impossible for him to ever actually go through with his plans, he will become stuck in ‘Angsty-with-identity-crisis’ mode if he is not taken down by a strong team of heroes. Get someone to attach the muzzle and handcuffs on him and be ready with lots of encouragement to nurse him straight into ‘More-or-less-innocent-mischief’ mode.

 

Q: My place is really cold and I keep finding these little ice sculptures all over, but my Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is nowhere to be seen.

A: The sculptures are gifts. Your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is probably in ‘Frost-Giant-blues’ mode and is being self-conscious about his Jotun form. Do not doubt that he is watching you. Praise his natural Jotun abilities to create beautiful things and wait for him to reemerge. Your bond will be strengthened.  

. 

Q: It’s not that I dislike it, but my Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ keeps staring at me in this weird way. Is he planning something?

A: No, he is confused by your behavior. Most likely you’ve been overly nice and supportive and he is looking for a proof that you’re planning on backstabbing him. Keep up the good work and he’ll eventually think of you as a trustworthy friend and confidant.  

 

Q: My Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit has gone missing!

A: Do not worry. Your unit is probably just pulling a prank somewhere, but in the case he may have been kidnapped he will promptly beat up his kidnappers and return to you. In the meanwhile check around that there is no Boy Band Assembling @£¤% Nick Fury™ or Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist Iron Man Tony Stark™ units nearby as they may be the culprits.

 

**WARRANTIES:**

As mentioned earlier, your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is basically invincible and cannot be destroyed, not even when burned, beheaded, blown-up or Hulk Smashed. If he is behaving erratically, unfriendly or outright violently (more so than usual), please call our hotline and we will send a repair technician over.

 

If you are unhappy with your purchase you may return your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ to us permanently and purchase a easily manageable unit like the Oozing Masculinity Captain America Steve Rogers™. No refunds, as you knew what you were getting when you ordered a Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit.


	2. The Dark World™  Upgrade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Dark World™ upgrade has finally been released.  
> As always feel free to post your further questions in the comment sections.

Thank you for purchasing The Dark World™ upgrade for your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™.

 

Please take the time to read and follow this addition to the regular Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ manual instructions to ensure continued optimal functionality and to get the best out of your purchase.

 

We recommend that you continuously upgrade your unit so that it will be fully compatible with other units.

 

 

**THE DARK WORLD™  UPGRADE COMES WITH THE FOLLOWING ITEMS:**

\- A not as plain as you'd expect prison garb

\- A special crafted dagger

\- A new hairstyle option

\- A new spellbook (Randomly selected from a collection of six different books, please visit our shop if you wish to purchase more from the Frigga Collection™)

\- A set of chains and cuffs to fit over ankles, wrists, waist and neck. This item will be uniquely crafted so only you will be able to remove them

 

These items will be shipped to the address you have provided during the payment process and should arrive within 5-10 business days.

 

 

**HOW TO INSTALL THIS UPGRADE:**

Your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will automatically download this upgrade when he next goes to sleep. Please note that it may take up to 24 hours before The Dark World™ upgrade is fully installed and that your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will be asleep during the entire process.

 

When he wakes up he will be in the new mode: 'Sarcastic-little-shit'. You do not have to check up on your unit during installation; as soon as the process is complete this mode will prompt him to seek you out.

 

All previous interaction between your unit and his surrounds will remain unchanged in his memories and the level of your bond will not change with this upgrade.

 

 

**NEW MODES:**

The Dark World™  upgrade comes with two new modes for your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™. All previous modes of the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will still be available and should you have locked out the 'Nothing-but-the-helmet' mode it will again be available.

 

Please note that this upgrade lessens the chance for your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ to go into both 'Angsty-with-identity-crisis' and 'A-bag-of-cats' mode.

 

_Sarcastic-little-shit_ :  In this mode he will delight in following you around and commenting on everything you and the people around you do with sarcastic, but ultimately harmless remarks. Depending on your bond he may focus all his remarks only on you or he may focus them solely on the people he view to be your enemies. When not bantering he will be feigning disinterest in you and everything else around him except for his new book - but know that he will still be watching your every move and judge you on it. This is by far the safest of the two new modes and we recommend that you keep your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ in this or 'More-or-less-innocent-mischief' mode at all times.

 

_Trust-my-rage_ :  Your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will be overall bitter and have severe mood swings in that he can go from depressed to outright vicious in seconds. He will be prone to angry yelling, hurtful remarks and even crying if left alone (which he will try to hide and deny). However this mode is also the most open mode your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ comes with, and as such offers the possibility for deep bonding if handled correctly. Warning: The 'Trust-my-rage' mode is for experienced users only as your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will be emotionally unstable and lash out at anyone that comes near him. While we have made sure he cannot bring physical harm to any non-unit he may very well try to wound you with his words or trash your things.

 

 

**THINGS NOT TO DO WITH YOUR UPGRADED Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ UNIT:**

Do not let your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ near an upgraded A+ Parenting Odin Allfather™ unit if you are not an experienced user.

 

Do not punish your unit's misdeeds with grounding him to his room. Do not apply any form of detention, corner standing, etc. that can be viewed as mobility/area access restrictions or imprisonment. This upgrade provides the possibility for even deeper bonding through trust, but it also enables the unit to outright start disliking you should you treat it wrong.

 

Do not use the new set of chains and cuffs without good reason.

 

Do not force or initiate physical contact when your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is in 'Trust-my-rage' mode. You may reach out, but let him decide if he wants to accept or deny your touch.

 

**COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER THE DARK WORLD™** **UNIT UPGRADES:**

 

Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™:

Interaction with this unit will not have changed much no matter which of the new modes your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is in except that your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will no longer feel attached to this unit. If the Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ has been upgraded your unit will have gained slightly more respect for it, if not your unit will be more hateful towards it. An upgraded Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ will treat your unit differently however, as it will try to ignore your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ in favor of other units. When they do interact it will now likely either be in the form of full out arguing, false threats or sarcasm, but at rare times they may actually work on their brotherly bond. The Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ is one of the few units you can allow to be around your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ when in 'Trust-my-rage' mode, but keep them supervised.

 

Strong-Willed Astrophysicist Jane Foster™:  

Your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will now have a lot more interest in this unit. Upon first meeting your unit will introduce himself and depending on if the Strong-Willed Astrophysicist Jane Foster™ has been upgraded she will either be super polite or violently punch him. In either case your unit will find the Strong-Willed Astrophysicist Jane Foster™ useful and may work together with her for a greater purpose (please make sure this purpose is relatively benign).

 

A+ Parenting Odin Allfather™:

This unit will now have a new mode that he will automatically go into should he come in contact with an upgraded Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ no matter your unit's mode. If your unit is in 'Sarcastic-little-shit' mode the A+ Parenting Odin Allfather™ will be hurtful towards it until your unit is forced into 'Trust-my-rage' mode. Is your unit already in 'Trust-my-rage' mode upon meeting he will likely try to hurt the A+ Parenting Odin Allfather™ unit. All interaction between these two units is now highly likely to be hurtful and violent and is therefore no longer recommended.  

 

Actual A+ Parenting Frigga Allmother™:

Your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is very fond of this unit and will enjoy her company no matter his mode. However if other units - especially the Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ or A+ Parenting Odin Allfather™ units, show up he will make a show of not caring for her.  The Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ interacts best with this unit when they are both alone, but if your unit trusts you he will not be bothered by your added company. He will range from seeking her approval and motherly advice in his previous modes to venting his anger in 'Trust-my-rage' mode. The Actual A+ Parenting Frigga Allmother™ unit is highly compatible with this mode and is capable of shortening the period this mode will last down to almost nothing. After upgrading we recommend that your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is in contact with a Actual A+ Parenting Frigga Allmother™ unit at least weekly.

 

 

**COMPATIBILITY WITH NEW THE DARK WORLD™ UNITS:**

 

Glamorous Dark Elf Ruler Malekith the Accursed™:

The relationship between these two units will vary widely based upon the modes of both units. They may become either friends or enemies, as they will only rarely ignore each other. As friends these units must be kept under supervision constantly as they are very likely to form plots against anyone and anything that has something they want. They will also test each other's magical abilities and scheming powers - most likely on you and your property. As enemies these units can be very destructive and should you sense their relationship going this way we recommend that you separate them as soon as possible.

 

Seeker of Vengance Kurse / Algrim the Strong™:

Your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will not care particularly for this unit and will largely ignore it as long as they are both in their safe modes. Your unit may show vague interest in the Seeker of Vengance Kurse / Algrim the Strong™ unit while in 'The-last-of-the-Kursed' mode and may decide to use this unit for his own gain.

 

Warning: Please note that while not prone to do so unprovoked, both of these new units are very capable of causing (non-permanent) harm to your unit should your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ decide to get in their way or get caught exploiting them.

 

 

**FAQ & TROUBLESHOOTING:  
**Q: I just installed the upgrade and when I woke up my Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ was in my room/bedroom staring at me while I slept! It was super creepy. Is this normal behavior from now on?

A: Do not worry, this is a onetime occurrence. The first time your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ wakes up after having the Dark World™ upgrade installed he will seek you out no matter where you are. This is so the unit may confirm to you that the upgrade has been completed successfully, after this point he will no longer do this.

 

Q: After the new upgrade my Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ seems to have lost interest all his little projects and is just looking out of the window all the time being all sad. What is wrong with him?

A: He is in 'Trust-my-rage' mode, but is currently more depressed than angry and he has confined himself to whatever room he is currently in. This may be because you have not given him anything to be truly angry with. If you have a strong bond you should be capable of bringing him back to a safer mood within a few days, if not then bring in an Actual A+ Parenting Frigga Allmother™ unit to talk him back to his snarky self.  

 

Q: My Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ was in 'Sarcastic-little-shit' mode while hanging out with a Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ unit and then the other unit put some handcuffs on my Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ that we now can't get off. What do I do?

A: First of all you must remain calm. It is important that you do not stress your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ when he is restrained or he will go into 'Trust-my-rage' mode and trash everything in sight. Most of the time the Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ unit will come back within 24 hours to release the cuffs and reclaim them for future use. If he is not back within this time frame you can input the identification number on the cuffs on our website and we will transfer ownership to you permanently, where after the cuffs should open at your command.

 

Q: There is a Seeker of Vengance Kurse / Algrim the Strong™ unit hanging around outside my house looking in through the windows, and he keeps growling at my  Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ and sending him angry glares. I fear the unit is going to hurt mine, how do I get it to go away?

A: Has your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ become overly friendly with a Glamorous Dark Elf Ruler Malekith the Accursed™ recently? If so, then the Seeker of Vengance Kurse / Algrim the Strong™ is merely being jealous because his master is paying more attention to someone else. He will not harm your unit unless your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ provokes it.

 

Q: When is it appropriate to use the new set of cuffs on my unit?

A: In either of the two new modes or his old 'A-bag-of-cats' mode _if_ he has done anything that he must be restrained from. Usually it is safer if you make sure someone else puts the chains and cuffs on him after stopping his grand scheme (Any of the hero units will do), when your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is returned to you, you make take them off when you feel he is again safe to be around. Remember to always nurse your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ back to one of his safe modes after his failed schemes.

 

Q: I'm pretty sure my unit is manipulating a Strong-Willed Astrophysicist Jane Foster™ unit into something bad. Should I interfere?

A: Yes! You can either bring in a Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ unit to distract the Strong-Willed Astrophysicist Jane Foster™ (as she will be not-so-strong-willed around him) from whatever is going on or you may fall back on the old manual and contact either a Boy Band Assembling @£¤% Nick Fury™ or True Hero Agent Phil Coulson™ unit. If choosing the latter option, please make sure that you reclaim your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ BEFORE he is put in a glass cage to prevent him from going into 'Trust-my-rage' mode while around these other units.

**  
WARRANTIES:**

As your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is basically invincible and cannot be destroyed, not even when burned, beheaded, blown-up, Hulk Smashed or pierced through the heart. If he is behaving erratically, unfriendly or outright violently (more so than usual), please call our hotline and we will send a repair technician over.

 

The Dark World™ upgrade is permanent. If you are unhappy with your upgrade you may return your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ to us and - as long as supply lasts - purchase an un-upgraded version of your unit or a different unit. Still no refunds.


	3. Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ Open Q&A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since some of my answers grew rather long and interesting and since I got a few offsite questions, I have decided to include my comment Q&A as a chapter in itself, further comment questions will be added should I get more ;)

**QUESTIONS BEFORE THE DARK WORLD UPGRADE**

**Question: How will it react if I bring it close to an Odin unit?**  
 **Asked by: Poppy**

While this is not a match up we recommend in general, we have cataloged and tested many different scenarios depending on the modes of both the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit of the Liferuining Avengers 2012 series and the A+-Parenting-Allfather-Odin. Below is a short version of these results:

More-or-less-innocent-mischief: The most harmless mode, your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will tolerate the other unit. If there is a Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ nearby it will however cause your unit to forget all about you and focus on making the Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ look bad in front of the A+-Parenting-Allfather-Odin unit. A Frigga unit may be able to keep this at bay for some time.

Angsty-with-identity-crisis: Not recommended as this mode makes the A+-Parenting-Allfather-Odin unit automatically go into his 'Peace-out-I'm-in-Odinsleep' mode, which in turn will anger your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ causing him to do harm to his surroundings.

A-bag-of-cats: Depending on the severity of this mode, the A+-Parenting-Allfather-Odin unit is at times capable of returning your unit to it's default 'More-or-less-innocent-mischief' mode, however as the unit tends to be in his 'Grant-life-lessons-if-someone-fucks-up' mode it is very likely it will result in lots of yelling, angry insults and threats, dissapointed stares and for your unit to revert into 'Angsty-with-identity-crisis'. We do not recommend having your unit in this mode if the A+-Parenting-Allfather-Odin unit is in any other mode.

Frost-Giant-blues: At most times the units will ignore each other while your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is in this mode. It is however possible that the A+-Parenting-Allfather-Odin unit gets overcome by fatherly feels and returns your unit to it's 'More-or-less-innocent-mischief' mode.

Nothing-but-the-helmet: None of Odin's modes fit well with this mode. Do not try this. Your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will get severely reprimanded and at times this will completely erase the mode from your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™'s settings.

 

**Question: Where can I order one?**  
 **Asked by: Dangly+Legged+Owl, Araew, Winged Trickster**

As stated to an earlier interested buyer, you can visit our online shop or call our sales department on 123-456-MARVEL. Please note that not all units in the Liferuining Avengers 2012 has been released yet, we expect all the be on the market in November. Happy shopping and good luck!

 

**Question: How much space is recommended for this unit, and is it in anyway DC compatible?**  
 **Asked by: Kiwijellyjam**

Your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ does not have a certain amount of space he needs, what is important for him is not the size, but how much he has _compared to you_. He will demand the largest room in the household for himself, unless you can convince him another room is preferable (here you may use reasons such as closer to the bathroom, better view, more isolated from the rest of the family, etc.).

If you by DC compatible mean our competitor DC units, then our units will react to them as were they just another human being (with special abilities). In case of the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ he will find most units from other production companies inferior and he will very likely ignore them. It is possible to introduce e.g. a DC unit as a possible friend, but we do not have sufficient research on this subject.

 

**Question: How might a Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ handle the presence of a Darcy Lewis model? Or for that matter, Jane Foster?**  
 **Asked by: LittleLulu**

The Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will react very differently based on certain factors. Personally the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will not even register the Cheeky-Sciencebuddy Darcy Lewis™ model as anything more than another mortal being on a planet of dirt, however the Cheeky-Sciencebuddy Darcy Lewis™ model will take it upon herself to introduce herself to the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™.

If in More-or-less-innocent-mischief mode the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ will acknowledge her and they may gradually form a bond over pranking others (please make sure the Cheeky-Sciencebuddy Darcy Lewis™ model does not gift your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ a taser, as he will use it on anyone!).

If in Angsty-with-identity-crisis or A-bag-of-cats mode he will dismiss her promtly before she will even get to finish her name. Frost-Giant-blues can wield interesting results based upon if the units have bonded already in More-or-less-innocent-mischief mode. If so, the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ may let the Cheeky-Sciencebuddy Darcy Lewis™ model approach him, if not bonded however, it will result in severe damage to the Cheeky-Sciencebuddy Darcy Lewis™ model, therefore this combination is not recommended.

Do not let the Cheeky-Sciencebuddy Darcy Lewis™ model meet the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ in Nothing-but-the-helmet mode, Cheeky-Sciencebuddy Darcy Lewis™ is equipped with cameras and she will use them, she will also most certainly come on to the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit and he will not like it (9 out of 10 times).

As for the Strong-Willed Astrophysist Jane Foster™ unit (We assume that you do not mean the Classic Strong-Willed Nurse Jane Foster™) it depends on if she has recieved the Liferuining Avengers™ upgrade and if she is currently/has been in a relationship with a Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ unit. Neither of those will be positive for their possible interactions but even without it is a tricky combination. As with just about any other unit we recommend keeping the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ in More-or-less-innocent-mischief mode at all times - but this is especially true for the Strong-Willed Astrophysist Jane Foster™ unit. If she has not been upgraded with never events and she has not been in a relationship with a Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ there is a high chance that these two units will entirely ignore each other unless the Strong-Willed Astrophysist Jane Foster™ realizes that the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ has information that will aid her scientific studies. In that case, she will pursue him until he gives her what she wants (It will be smart if you encourage your Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ to give in as soon as possible, preferably in a way so that he thinks he is manipulating all of you by doing so.) If you find yourself stuck with a Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ who does not want to give in to the Strong-Willed Astrophysist Jane Foster™'s demands, you may consider contacting any unit with Eric Selvig in it's name to come get her.

In any other scenario we do not recommend any other interaction between these two units, unless there is also a Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ unit nearby to protect the Strong-Willed Astrophysist Jane Foster™ unit should the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit shift into Angsty-with-identity-crisis or A-bag-of-cats mode.

We realize this little interaction is a bit dissapointing for many fans of the series and you can look forward to the addition of two new modes for the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ when the Dark World upgrade hits the market this fall that are both highly compatible with the Strong-Willed Astrophysist Jane Foster™ unit.

 

**Question: Even a god of lies can succumb to that most base of instincts. If a female purchaser formed a strong bond with her Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ and finds that her unit is showing unusual signs of affection and other such strong emotions, should said female purchaser feel worried about her well-being?**  
 **Asked by: LittleLulu**

We are legally obligated to inform the user that our units are intended for platonic use, as we are not selling sex toys. This is as much for the protection of our units as it is the user and to encourage lifetime lasting friendship and bonding. However you are right that even so it is possible for all units including the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ to indulge in romantic or even sexual activities, some units will actually do this quite often (like the Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist Iron Man Tony Stark™ unit). However we only encourage human/human and unit/unit interactions. We cannot be held liable for any actions your unit may take should you form a human/unit relationship.

Speaking strictly off the record, should you find yourself the target of these affections you will be entirely in your right to act upon them as you see fit. Do however take note, that in the case of the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ you can never be 100% sure if he is truly interested in you or if he is using you for one of his current schemes. We can confirm that the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is capable of actually falling in love, but proceed very carefully. Encourage him to court you instead of giving in to him right away, if you make yourself hard to get it is very likely he will only keep pursuing you if he is truly interested (or if he has a very complicated end game).

Under any circumstance you should never fear your own well-being around your personal Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™, while he may claim otherwise he will be possessive and protective of his owner. He will constantly play mind games and test your limits, but never doubt that he values you regardless of your gender and wants you to stay in one piece (If only so you can continue cooking for him).

 

**Question: Does the Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ have a mode like the Nothing-but-the-helmet mode?**  
 **Asked by: ThorUndLokiFan**

Yes, he does; It's called Nothing-but-the-cape. Please also note that the Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ unit may at times choose to don only a pair of tight midguardian trousers for your viewing pleasure.

 

**Question: What was that thing with the horse?**  
 **Asked by: ThorUndLokiFan**

The first rule of owning a Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is; Do not ask about the thing with the horse. The second rule of owning a Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ is; DO NOT ASK ABOUT THE THING WITH THE HORSE.

 

**QUESTIONS AFTER THE DARK WORLD UPGRADE**

**Question: The Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ sounds high maintenance but oh-so-worth it. How would one unit interact with another, though? If I had one and then I got another one for my sister for her birthday, would the police need to be called at any point? Or would we just need family counseling?**  
 **Asked by: Elsapphire**

This unit is indeed high maintenance compared to many of our other units (He is a prince, afterall!), but we agree - he is very much worth it. Perhaps we should consider making a deal with L'Oréal to combine slogans and commercials.

To your question; Whenever one of our units encounters another unit of the same name, they are programmed to  
1) ignore one another or  
2) if forced to interact, at least be positive around the other unit.

We have done this to avoid situations like two Angry Green Giant Hulk Dr. Bruce Banner™ units simultaneously going into Hulk mode and fighting each other or to keep two Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist Iron Man Tony Stark™ from suing each other for everything they've got (and considering the Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist Iron Man Tony Stark™ unit comes with a huge bank account, this could last for quite a while).

Now, in the case that two Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ not only meet each other but live under the same roof, it will be forced interaction as they cannot continue to ignore each other on a daily basis.

First off we would like to say that while we will not stop you from doing this, we recommend that you instead get two different units that interact well with each other (please refer to the manual for compatible units). We are aware that you both wish to have this unit, but it is very much possible to share 'ownership' between multiple partners for one unit alone. The Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ considers himself to be a free man and will form bonds with every member of his household - strongest with the person/persons listed as owners when you bought him. Should you happen to be fans of pairing units for friendship/romance, we recommend that you get both units for this pairing, since living together will increase the chance for a positive bond to form (in most cases we recommend that you get the other unit up to a month earlier, as the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ might become slightly territorial should a new unit invade his home and privacy).

If you still choose to have multiple Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ units in the same house with different owners, one of two scenarios will happen:

1) They form a Mischief Managed bond  
2) They form a Cold-blooded Rivalry bond

Both of these bonds have up- and downsides and we recommend only experienced users to ever try this combination (especially in the case of the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ units).

Mischief Managed   
The name has been taken from the two twins from Harry Potter, and as the name suggests your two Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ units will act as if they were siblings, doubling the amount of pranks and terror they throw your way. We stress that it's important to try and keep your units in the More-or-less-innocent-mischief mode and completely stay away from the A-bag-of-cats mode. The units will support each other in all other modes and they may from a deeper bond with each other than with their owner (Please also note that they may become romantic involved in very rare cases.) In order to stay an important person in their lives - and avoid them clinging to each other only - you will need to express a lot of joy for everything they do (they will find this interesting and invite you in) but know that you have to remain sincere (they will dislike you thoroughly should you lie to them). It is very possible that two Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ units together can be more stable and happy than just one Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit.

Cold-blooded Rivalry  
This is the more risky of the scenarios and if this happens you will have to provide two different rooms of these units preferably at different ends of the household. Should you fail to do this the units may take it upon themselves to pick new rooms and refuse to give them up. In this bond the units will hate each other worse than the Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ unit may hate the Bulging Muscles God of Thunder Thor Odinson™ unit, and they will aim to tear each other apart one cruel joke at a time and refuse to speak with each other at all. But while they may be distant from each other they will also be very protective (possessive) of their individual owner and each unit will spend most of their time trying to earn their significant owner's trust, approval and love for themselves alone (never praise or show affection towards the unit not belonging to you). Under no circumstance should you let two Super-Sexy God of Lies Loki Laufeyson™ units in a Cold-blooded Rivalry bond be in anything but More-or-less-innocent-mischief mode. Should one unit change it's mode (no matter which to) you will need to instantly break them apart - take your own unit with you somewhere safe.

Please note that in both cases you will need to keep the units on the same upgrade to avoid one unit gaining superiority other the other. This will instantly create a Cold-blooded Rivalry bond that cannot be undone even if the other unit is later upgraded as well. Please also note that since the units are identical and respond to the same name, you may wish to give them something that is unique to each unit, so you can tell them apart. Bracelets or hairpieces in gold and or jade will be accepted with thanks.

In cases of more than two units of the same name, it is possible for some units to form one kind of bond and others to form another kind of bond, making for a mixed bond household. For the safety of our units and for your sanity, households with more than two units of the same name will have to sign up for an additional service so that our experts can come by monthly to check that everything is as it should be. We hope this information was satisfactory, If you have any more questions please don't hesitate to ask.

 

 

We hope this information was satisfactory,  
If you have any more questions please don't hesitate to ask.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My exams will be over soon, should anyone wish for a manual for a certain unit feel free to request this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading the User Maintenance Guide.  
> If you have any questions or trouble with your purchase, don't hesitate to ask or call our hotline!
> 
> Read the comment section for further Q&As!


End file.
